Abstract Novel materials with high electrical, optical, and thermal functionalities are crucial in next‐generation space missions. Astronauts’ well‐being demands continuous health monitoring, while stray light suppression and heat dissipation are vital for space telescopes. Here, it is demonstrated that laser‐induced graphene (LIG), patterned with femtosecond laser pulses, serves as a versatile material for temperature/strain sensing, stray light absorption, and heat management for smart spacesuits and telescopes. LIG exhibits a superior temperature coefficient of resistance (−0.068% °C⁻¹), gauge factor of 454, optical absorption (97.57%), and heat diffusivity (6.376 mm 2 s −1 ) via a single platform. Furthermore, thermal‐vacuum tests confirm LIG's reliability and readiness for space missions. Under vacuum conditions (≈10 −3 Torr) and repeated temperature changes ranging from −20 to 60 °C over a period of ≈40 h, the temperature/strain sensor, and optical absorbers maintain the functionality.